Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
Randomize
