I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
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