You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
You need a sexual gate keeper
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
