Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
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