do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
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