The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
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