The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
