Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
i just google imaged poop.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
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