Jerry, you need to find god
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Randomize
