Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
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