oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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