that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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