I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
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