we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Randomize
