We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
