i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Randomize
