If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
A bitchslap is in order.
Randomize
