Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
I think my moral compass just broke
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
