i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Randomize
