I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
I could have mohawked her pubes.
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize
