I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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