I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
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Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
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Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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