Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize