But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
