i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize
