Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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