Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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