The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
