This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
it hurts more in the daytime
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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