i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
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