So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Randomize
