So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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