DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
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