He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Randomize
