Well apparently he's into motor boating.
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Randomize
