She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
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