Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
I don't want my vagina anymore.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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