you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
