I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Randomize