sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
Randomize
