Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
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