I can't watch pbs sober anymore
The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
Randomize
