i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Randomize