You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
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