can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
