What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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