it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
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