In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
Randomize
