bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
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