Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
found the other keg... it's in the tree
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
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