Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Randomize
