This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
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