My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
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