When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
