My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
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